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body

January 1, 2012 by Marcus Gottlieb

Amazing diet to add 5 pounds solid flesh in 1 week!

Amazing diet to add 5 pounds solid flesh in 1 week!

The National Obesity Forum and the International Chair on Cardiometabolic Risk have conducted a joint survey of more than 2,000 people which found that 42% of 18 to 24-year-olds would not tell a loved one they should lose weight out of reluctance to hurt the other person’s feelings. For those aged 25 to 44 it was just over a third, while for older people it was about one in four. Men find it hardest to tell their partners, while women were more worried about bringing up the issue with a friend.

Prof David Haslam, chair of the National Obesity Forum, is quoted as saying: ‘If someone close to you has a large waistline then, as long as you do it sensitively, discussing it with them now could help them avoid critical health risks later down the line and could even save their life.’

Dr Jean Pierre Despres, scientific director of the International Chair on Cardiometabolic Risk, agreed: ‘Start by encouraging someone close to you to make simple lifestyle changes such as becoming more active, making small alterations to their eating habits and replacing sugary drinks with water.’

The plate that nags you to diet.

The plate that nags you to diet.

Given that a certain level of fat accumulation around the waist and internal organs increases the statistical risk of diabetes, heart disease and stroke, this sounds very sensible indeed to me. At the same time, I must admit to a lot of scepticism.

Does exhortation to lose weight ever work? Whether it’s coming from another person or from inside our own head, are we really likely to comply, on a permanent basis? Now there’s even a Talking Plate that nags you to eat slowly! The outcome of most diets is to gain yet more weight, once the diet has ended. And the truth is, they always do end!

However, the good Prof Haslam did put in the proviso about discussing this issue ‘sensitively’ so on that ground alone it feels OK to me to give him a grain of publicity.

My own approach when working with people who consider their weight or fat to be a concern, is to emphasise learning trust in the self, using intuition about what is ‘good’ behaviour around food, listening to the body’s internal signals, discarding shame and replacing it with self-love – all of which, I’m sorry to say, takes time.

Six top tips

  1. Take small pauses to listen to your body’s own signals.
  2. Eat when you’re actually hungry! Then stop when you’re not!
  3. Eat sitting down, calmly, in company.
  4. There are no forbidden foods (that ‘naughty but nice’ nonsense!)
  5. End the diet rollercoaster (drama but no fun!)
  6. Eat with pleasure and gusto!

Of course, in actual fact it saves time: it’s the diets that waste time! If you drop quick fixes and focus on finding a sustainable relationship with food and your body, you are likely to lose weight over a period of time and keep it off without worrying. This entails deep re-training of ourselves to differentiate between ‘comfort’ eating and ‘hunger’ eating. It also means tackling the guilt and shame head on, by ending the habits of eating in secret, or when distracted such as when driving in the car. It’s a process, I say again, that demands time and effort.

The 12-step programme of Overeaters Anonymous is worth a mention here as it suits many people. Again, it has a slow, steady approach – not shouting at people but supporting them! I’m not sure if the medical profession in its institutional form, say in the shape of the National Obesity Forum, is capable yet of finding the right tone in which to address all the people who feel distressed about their eating, and for whom food is not the unalloyed pleasure it should be. But then, do organisations composed of doctors know how to talk about pleasure?

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Filed Under: body, change, diet, shoulds, weight Tagged With: body, change, diet, dieting, skinny, slimming, weight, weight loss

March 31, 2011 by Marcus Gottlieb

Therapists increasingly recognize that talking about past abuse or neglect in therapy may not of itself help people to move beyond such experiences. I am always interested and excited by innovative techniques and approaches that come along, which aim at changing the self-destructive behaviour patterns that are often the mark of someone who has been abused or neglected.

One such method which I am now exploring is called Lifespan Integration. It is a gentle method which works on a deep neural level to change our self-attacking scripts, and people report that it has enabled them quite quickly to feel…

[Read more…] about lifespan integration

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Filed Under: body, esteem, exercises, shoulds Tagged With: body, lifespan, lifespanintegration, self-esteem, shoulds

January 18, 2011 by Marcus Gottlieb

Opening Up My Heart To My Home
by Denise Dupont

Coming home.
Coming home to me.
This is the way I would like to be.
To walk in my home with love, integrity
Honour, respect for myself and respect for others.

Coming home to myself, means I take
Notice of me, my skin, my smell, my shape,
My hair, my sensuality and sexuality.
My dance and my love
My love for myself and my love for others

Coming home to myself is opening up my
Heart to the core of my existence
My essence, my beauty, my creativity
My soul and my roots.

Coming home is being able
to say to myself I LOVE YOU.

 

I Do Not Love You by Jeffery Lane

I do not love you because you are not good enough.

I do not love you because you do not deserve love.

My love is not something I will give you freely.

My love is something you must earn.

You want to know what you must do in order to be loved, and only I can tell you.

If I tell you what to do and you do it then you’ll expect me to love you.

So I won’t tell you what it is you must do, so you cannot do it.

[Read more…] about two poems about love

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Filed Under: body, esteem, relationships Tagged With: body, esteem, parents, relationships

January 2, 2011 by Marcus Gottlieb

As the New Year reminds us of our gradually advancing age, let’s just consider the not inconsiderable, brighter side (with gratitude to Anthony):

  • In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first
  • It’s harder and harder for harassment charges to stick
  • Kidnappers are not very interested in you
  • No one expects you to run into a burning building
  • People call at 9 pm and ask, ‘Did I wake you?’
  • People no longer view you as a hypochondriac
  • There’s nothing left to learn the hard way
  • Things you buy now won’t wear out
  • [Read more…] about benefits of growing older

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    Filed Under: assumptions, body, esteem, meaning Tagged With: assumptions, body, esteem, meaning

    December 15, 2010 by Marcus Gottlieb

    Becoming a mature, autonomous adult is a lot about taking responsibility for our feelings, and as a first step we need to get clearer about what our feelings are. This is a good tool. Start a diary, write in it these sentence stems, be as honest as you can and just see what emerges. A diary is a fantastic place to have a heart-to-heart conversation with yourself, a great chance to get burdens off your chest. And where the sentence or sentiment is addressed to another person, pick whoever seems appropriate. The sentence stems are adapted from Nathaniel Branden’s ‘If You Could Hear What I Cannot Say’.

    Allowing Others To See Me

    If I were willing to be vulnerable I might tell you…
    If I weren’t afraid of being condemned I might tell you…
    If I weren’t so scared I might tell you…

    [Read more…] about if you could hear what i cannot say

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    Filed Under: anger, body, exercises, parents, relationships Tagged With: anger, body, exercises, parents, relationships

    December 13, 2010 by Marcus Gottlieb

    Everything except language
    knows the meaning of existence.
    Trees, plants, rivers, time
    know nothing else. They express it
    moment by moment as the universe.
    Even this fool of a body lives it in part
    and would have full dignity
    within it but for the
    ignorant freedom of my
    talking mind.

    with affectionate thanks to Jo Harvey

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    Filed Under: body, nature Tagged With: body, meaning, nature

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    Pesso Boyden Group with accredited practitioners Deborah Clarke and Marcus Gottlieb

    Pesso Boyden Group with accredited PBSP practitioners Deborah Clarke and Marcus Gottlieb

    Pesso Boyden Therapy (‘PBSP’) is a philosophical process for becoming whole.

    It is a respectful, interactive group process that heals by embedding new memories in the brain and in the body

    Most people consciously or unconsciously have memories – explicit or implicit – of 

    1. deficits 

    2. traumas 

    3. having to take care of others when we were too young – e.g. protecting a sibling, providing the joy in the life of an unhappy parent, unconsciously becoming the ‘spouse’ of a widowed parent, or making the world right after hearing stories of injustice. 

    When any of these three categories of memory appear in the client’s work, the client and therapist work together to externalise them, in order to illuminate the client’s ways of handling life and to facilitate change. The client is always in charge of this process – people and incidents from the client’s past will be symbolised in the here-and-now either by people in the group or by objects in the room, all chosen and placed by the client. 

    The therapist then works with the client to facilitate an antidote to what happened in the past – a new memory which provides what the client needed at that particular time in their past, from a specific kinship figure. This new memory may be developed over several sessions in a number of steps. In the Pesso approach we don’t change our history; however, we do change our response to our history, leading to a new perspective. 

    The way is opened to possibilities of greater pleasure, satisfaction, meaning, integration and connectedness.

     



    Deborah has worked as a Performance Coach for over 16 years having trained with Coach U. Her background is in the arts as an actor, theatre director and artistic director. She has worked with a wide range of people from all walks of life. Having first encountered Pesso Boyden as a client, she felt inspired to do the training herself. Since graduating in 2013 she has been running Personal Development workshops using the Pesso Boyden system and is now accredited by the official PBSP U.K. organisation.

    Notting Hill Therapist | Marcus Gottlieb Psychotherapist & Counsellor
    Marcus Gottlieb is a highly experienced London-based psychotherapist with a particular interest in boarding school survivor syndrome. Having trained alongside Deborah directly under Al Pesso and his closest collaborator Lowijs van Perquin, he is steeped in the work of PBSP and a strong believer in the client’s genetic impulse towards health and expression of their unique potential and individual destiny. He became an accredited Pesso Boyden therapist in 2021.
    An Introduction to the Pesso Boyden Method

     

    An opportunity to learn about and observe the distinctive techniques of this respectful body-based psychotherapy.

    Suitable for both psychologically interested professionals, people seeking personal development/CPD and for people not in the therapeutic professions seeking to address entrenched issues. For all those who are interested in living a larger life. A special price of £35 for the day includes lunch and refreshments. CPD certificates will be available.

    PBSP (Pesso-Boyden System Psychomotor) is a powerful, deeply respectful, psychotherapeutic process that uses feedback, ritual, objects and role players in a unique manner to heal the traumas, wounds and losses that affect our personal map of the world.

    Its central goal is the imaginative creation of an ‘ideal’ healthy past that a person’s brain processes so that they emerge feeling differently about themselves. As Albert Pesso said, ‘Humanity is responsible for the meaning that surrounds us. The task for each person is to create a meaningful life and then live it with existential courage and passion.’

    As well as gaining new perspectives, clients often experience increased pleasure, satisfaction, meaning and connectedness following a PBSP session and find themselves psychologically freer to make the changes they wish for in their lives.
    Date: Saturday 7 October 2017
    Venue: Notting Hill, London W11
    Time: 10.00 am – 4.30 pm
    Cost: £35 (inc lunch & refreshments)

     

    Register Your Interest


    Boarding School Survivor Syndrome Conference

    BOARDING SCHOOL: Surviving the Syndrome
    Broken Attachment and Childhood Trauma

    University of Brighton

    Saturday 9 September 2017
    9.30 am to 5.00 pm

    Conference for psychotherapists, counsellors, mental health workers, boarding school survivors and other interested people.

    Conference overall aims are to:
    § Present key aspects of what has been published about the psychological and other effects of boarding.
    § Explore helpful therapeutic approaches for clients who are former boarders.
    § Consider current research and a possible agenda for future research
    § Enable networking amongst those interested in this important topic

    Chair: Pam Howard, School of Applied Social Science, University of Brighton.

    Speakers: Nick Duffell, Joy Schaverien, Alex Renton, Thurstine Basset, Anni Townend, Olya Khaleelee.

    Group Discussion Facilitators: Marcus Gottlieb, Leslie Lund, Nicola Miller, Simon Partridge, Boarding Concern Directors.

    For more details, contact Laura Williams:
    southcoastevents@brighton.ac.uk

    Pesso Boyden Workshop with Ana María Ruiz Sancho and Marcus Gottlieb

     

    Pesso Boyden Therapy is a respectful and highly respected, body-based psychotherapy with distinctive techniques aimed at addressing entrenched issues. It is an interactive process that creates new body-based memories to heal emotional deficits of the past.

    An exceptionally powerful personal development tool, it uses feedback, systematic procedures, objects and role players in a unique methodology, in order to repair the early traumas, wounds and losses that can powerfully influence the brain’s map of the world.

    In shifting underlying perspectives, the way is opened to the possibility of greater pleasure, satisfaction, meaning and connectedness, and an enhanced freedom to effect longed-for changes.

    It is expected there will be between 8 and 12 participants, with an absolute maximum of 15. The day will start with an explanation of Pesso Boyden and an experiential introduction, followed by 4 actual client sessions of an hour each.

    Venue: Philadelphia Association, 4 Marty’s Yard, London NW3 1QW
    Date: Saturday 3 June 2017
    Time: 0930 to 1800
    Cost: £75

    Register Your Interest



    Ana María Ruiz Sancho is an experienced psychiatrist and a psychotherapist. She is also a specialist in group dynamics and an Institutional and Team Motivation Consultant.

    Ana is the Founder and a Director of VocAcción, as well as being a qualified Pesso Boyden psychotherapist.


    Notting Hill Therapist | Marcus Gottlieb Psychotherapist & Counsellor

    Marcus Gottlieb works with relationships, sexuality, abuse and trauma, with a particular interest in boarding school survivor syndrome. Qualified in Pesso Boyden as well as other psychotherapies, he is also an Alexander Technique teacher.