Counselling for Anger Issues & Therapy for Anger Management

If you have trouble controlling your anger, rage or violent thoughts then Anger Management Therapy with Marcus can help

Anger is a completely normal and healthy emotion but, when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems at work, at home, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life.

Violent or uncontrolled anger or rage can make you feel as though you are at the mercy of an unpredictable, powerful and even frightening force – as well as potentially being alarming or distressing for anyone receiving or witnessing your anger.

Anger Management Therapy seeks to explore the emotional reactions you have to certain situations and help you to regulate and modulate your response in a way that will help you get a more positive and constructive result.

Do I need Anger Management Therapy – What are the signs of an anger issue?

Anger is part of the normal range of human emotions. It is a response to a need that is seeking to be met, a need to change or restructure a situation that you do not like or that you find unbearable.

There will always be events that cause anger and sometimes anger will be a justifiable response. Life is frustrating at times; it involves pain, loss, disappointment and the unpredictable actions of others.

However sometimes, no doubt, your emotional responses are out of proportion to the actual situation.

“I have yet to see a serious act of violence that was not provoked by the experience of feeling shamed and humiliated, disrespected and ridiculed, and that did not represent the attempt to prevent or undo this loss of face.” Anonymous prison psychiatrist

Some typical signs of having an ‘anger issue’ are:

Punching objects in frustration
Lashing out
Flying off the handle, violent outbursts, losing it, losing your rag
Reacting quickly and violently to small or insignificant problems
Picking arguments
Being very accusatory towards those close to you
Finding it difficult to climb down from an argument
Consistently having the same argument
Feeling frustrated with your actions and reactions to situations
Anxiety and paranoia
Lack of sleep
Social isolation

Symptoms of uncontrolled rage and how counselling can help you manage your anger

For many people, expressing anger, especially in a ferocious outburst, is followed by painful remorse, guilt and shame. It can even turn into depression.

Many people have difficulties with anger, whether it means having too much anger or too little.

You may be a person who implodes with your anger, internalizing your rage, perhaps showing no outwardly discernible signs of anger – you may, instead, experience other states such as depression, detachment or anxiety.

Other people explode with fury, criticising, arguing and even becoming verbally or physically violent – externalising all of what they feel.

There are gender differences in how anger is experienced and expressed. Often, though not always, it’s women who implode and men who explode.

Why do I get so Angry?

Through expressing anger you are at some level attempting to generate a pseudo-strength, which is an illusion of control over our world.

Whether you manifest anger by withdrawing, distancing, or becoming teary eyed, passive-aggressive or critical, or by being violent and destructive, there are consequences. You will probably be aware that your outbursts can have very negative consequences.

Your anger can have a profound effect on those around you, which makes their lives less satisfying and enjoyable and damages the relationship you have with them. Anger that’s not well handled can limit the possibility of you enjoying truly intimate and rewarding connections with people.

Some of the possible responses of other people to your anger:

Walking on eggshells around you
Watching their words and censoring how they speak to you
Being on tenterhooks around you
Avoiding the discussion of ‘delicate’ subjects with you

What happens in Anger Management Therapy?

Anger management therapy can teach constructive and appropriate ways of experiencing, expressing and meeting anger.

In counselling for anger you can practise ways to handle the unexpressed, underlying experiences that anger often masks. Anger is often the top layer of emotion, while it is the deeper layering – the vulnerability underneath – that is in a way more interesting and real.

Managing anger with Behavioural Therapy by changing your response or reaction to situations

It is possible to disassemble your habitual reactions to people, events and situations, and transform the passion and energy of anger into alternative responses. When you learn to do this you will be better able to communicate your inner experience in a satisfying way, which is key to any kind of relationship.

Marcus has available a toolkit of anger management counselling techniques which are essentially cognitive and behavioural therapy approaches, including anger rituals and other responsible forms of expression, somatic exercises, visualisation, drawing and role playing.