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Psychotherapy in West London

Psychotherapy & Counselling with Marcus Gottlieb

Counselling for Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse

Trauma Therapy for Adults Abused as Children

To violate or desecrate a child’s body or soul or spirit is one of the worst deeds humans are capable of. Such abuse is potentially equally damaging whether it was a one-off or something that was done repeatedly during a long period, or an accumulation of actions over time. Child abuse or neglect can take physical, emotional and sexual forms, and quite often all three. If you were abused as a child then you will know that you carry the scars and the trauma with you every day. Therapy for Survivors of Childhood Abuse helps you process the reality of the abuse and put it in its proper place, back in your past rather than victimising you in your present and future.

Why did the Childhood Abuse happen?

A simple definition is ‘an act, or failure to act, on the part of a parent or responsible adult, which results in, or runs a substantial risk of, serious physical or emotional harm occurring to a child’.

Emotional abuse is any ‘ongoing emotional maltreatment or emotional neglect of a child – which can involve deliberately trying to scare or humiliate a child or isolating or ignoring them’.

NSPCC (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children)

Sexual abuse or exploitation means any exposure to sexual acts imposed on children who inherently are not at the right stage of development for understanding or consenting to the acts. These acts do not always involve sexual intercourse or physical force, and they may not even involve physical contact. For example, forcing a child to watch sexual acts or to pose for pornographic filming.

Abuse typically involves some level of manipulation and trickery. Authority and power enable the perpetrator to coerce the child into compliance.

Not every single example of inappropriate sexual boundaries between an adult and child amounts to ‘abuse’ (even if the law may disagree). It is always important to have the space to explore your subjective experience in therapy, rather than have society – or a therapist – impose one particular narrative which might not fit for you.

Effects of Childhood Abuse on an Adults Body, Emotions and Behaviour

The following are frequently signs that a person was abused in childhood, sexually or otherwise. It is impossible to give a complete list of symptoms, and it may be that none of these applies to you. Sometimes, the effects of early abuse can be seen very subtly in body language or a general stance towards the world or manner of behaving.

  • Obesity, eating disorders
  • Insomnia, sleep disorders
  • Chronic pain around the head, pelvis or abdomen, or in the muscles of the legs, back etc.
  • Gastric or bowel complaints
  • Sexual difficulties
  • Respiratory difficulties
  • Addiction (drug or alcohol)
  • Phantom pregnancy
  • Low self-esteem, low self-confidence, poor self-image
  • Depression and anxiety
  • PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder)
  • Dissociative states
  • Personality disorder and possibly psychosis
  • Repeated self-harm or self-injury
  • Suicide attempts
  • Anger and rage
  • Lying, stealing and (when still young) truancy or running away
  • Poor educational and employment records
  • Difficulties in relationships and friendships
  • Extreme self-reliance (having been a child who could not rely on adults)
  • Poor contraceptive practices
  • Compulsive sexual behaviors
  • Separation of sex and intimacy (as it feels too risky to have an emotionally interdependent relationship)
  • Expressing feelings unconsciously through the body (eg skin disorders)
  • Poor adherence to medical recommendations
  • Expectation of early death

The most extreme and sometimes chronic symptoms are associated with:

  • abuse having started at an early age
  • abuse being very extended or frequent
  • abuse being accompanied by force, violence or threat
  • abuse by a parent, who is biologically supposed to protect you and yet is harming you

Range of Contexts for Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation

Abuse may occur in the family (the victim’s own family or another family), or an institution (such as church, football club, hospital or school), or it may happen within a friendship or a professional relationship (as with the family doctor or the family priest or rabbi).

The abuser, in the case of childhood sexual abuse, may be a paedophile (whose interest is in kids 11 and under), a hebephile (attracted to 11-14 year olds) or an ephebophile (drawn to 15-19 year olds). Often, they are motivated more by power than by sexual gratification.

Treatment for the Effects of Childhood Abuse and Trauma

Coping mechanisms are used for self-protection during the physical, sexual or emotional abuse, and are stored in the brain and visible in the movements of the body. Gentle exercises drawn from Pesso-Boyden Therapy and from behavioural therapy (somatic experiencing) are among the most effective paths to healing and recovery. Brief illustrations of both methods (working with adult victims of war displaying similar symptoms to survivors of childhood abuse) can be seen at https://youtu.be/s1RnTipiU_Q and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFOX5iSorsI&sns=em.

There are particular issues to be differentiated in relation to sexual contact involving a child. There are many factors to look at – to what extent was it about power, and the abuser’s desire for dominance over another? did the person initiate the abuse for their own sexual gratification? was the person who was molested feel some sexual curiosity or excitement, and then how does that impact on your feeling about the events or about yourself?

It is usually key in therapy to explore where you are now in relation to the incident or incidents, whether they’re labelled ‘sexual abuse’ or not? At what stage of your ongoing journey are you? Are you just coming to terms with the memories, or are you sick and tired of thinking about it and seeking a way to move on? How does it relate to other facets of you? Are you confident and highly functioning in some areas of your life, and not in others? Do you feel damaged and held back, and how has that operated over the years since the abuse ended?

Partners of Survivors of Child Abuse

The most common issue partners of victims of childhood abuse, particular childhood sexual abuse, have is the conflict of feelings and the feelings of hopelessness, powerlessness, and loneliness they may endure. The abuse survivor may feel a need to keep control of all situations, especially emotional situations. How does the partner get close to somebody who is guarded and always in control and seeming to protecting themselves by closing off from anything but superficial connections? How do they manage the struggle to bring fun, joy and spontaneity into the relationship?

In therapy, Marcus can work not only with adult survivors but with their partners too, who very often need a lot of support and guidance, whatever stage of their relationship they’re in.

Counselling for Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse

If you have been the victim of childhood abuse and have never sought therapy for the trauma you suffered as a child, or if you are still suffering then take the first step and contact Marcus to discuss Therapy and Counselling for Adults Abused in Childhood.

Contact Marcus


Confidential Help and Support and Further Information about Childhood Abuse & Trauma

The National Association for People Abused in Childhood can be contacted on 0808 801 0331.

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Pesso Boyden Group with accredited practitioners Deborah Clarke and Marcus Gottlieb

Pesso Boyden Group with accredited PBSP practitioners Deborah Clarke and Marcus Gottlieb

Pesso Boyden Therapy (‘PBSP’) is a philosophical process for becoming whole.

It is a respectful, interactive group process that heals by embedding new memories in the brain and in the body

Most people consciously or unconsciously have memories – explicit or implicit – of 

1. deficits 

2. traumas 

3. having to take care of others when we were too young – e.g. protecting a sibling, providing the joy in the life of an unhappy parent, unconsciously becoming the ‘spouse’ of a widowed parent, or making the world right after hearing stories of injustice. 

When any of these three categories of memory appear in the client’s work, the client and therapist work together to externalise them, in order to illuminate the client’s ways of handling life and to facilitate change. The client is always in charge of this process – people and incidents from the client’s past will be symbolised in the here-and-now either by people in the group or by objects in the room, all chosen and placed by the client. 

The therapist then works with the client to facilitate an antidote to what happened in the past – a new memory which provides what the client needed at that particular time in their past, from a specific kinship figure. This new memory may be developed over several sessions in a number of steps. In the Pesso approach we don’t change our history; however, we do change our response to our history, leading to a new perspective. 

The way is opened to possibilities of greater pleasure, satisfaction, meaning, integration and connectedness.

 



Deborah has worked as a Performance Coach for over 16 years having trained with Coach U. Her background is in the arts as an actor, theatre director and artistic director. She has worked with a wide range of people from all walks of life. Having first encountered Pesso Boyden as a client, she felt inspired to do the training herself. Since graduating in 2013 she has been running Personal Development workshops using the Pesso Boyden system and is now accredited by the official PBSP U.K. organisation.

Notting Hill Therapist | Marcus Gottlieb Psychotherapist & Counsellor
Marcus Gottlieb is a highly experienced London-based psychotherapist with a particular interest in boarding school survivor syndrome. Having trained alongside Deborah directly under Al Pesso and his closest collaborator Lowijs van Perquin, he is steeped in the work of PBSP and a strong believer in the client’s genetic impulse towards health and expression of their unique potential and individual destiny. He became an accredited Pesso Boyden therapist in 2021.
An Introduction to the Pesso Boyden Method

 

An opportunity to learn about and observe the distinctive techniques of this respectful body-based psychotherapy.

Suitable for both psychologically interested professionals, people seeking personal development/CPD and for people not in the therapeutic professions seeking to address entrenched issues. For all those who are interested in living a larger life. A special price of £35 for the day includes lunch and refreshments. CPD certificates will be available.

PBSP (Pesso-Boyden System Psychomotor) is a powerful, deeply respectful, psychotherapeutic process that uses feedback, ritual, objects and role players in a unique manner to heal the traumas, wounds and losses that affect our personal map of the world.

Its central goal is the imaginative creation of an ‘ideal’ healthy past that a person’s brain processes so that they emerge feeling differently about themselves. As Albert Pesso said, ‘Humanity is responsible for the meaning that surrounds us. The task for each person is to create a meaningful life and then live it with existential courage and passion.’

As well as gaining new perspectives, clients often experience increased pleasure, satisfaction, meaning and connectedness following a PBSP session and find themselves psychologically freer to make the changes they wish for in their lives.
Date: Saturday 7 October 2017
Venue: Notting Hill, London W11
Time: 10.00 am – 4.30 pm
Cost: £35 (inc lunch & refreshments)

 

Register Your Interest


Boarding School Survivor Syndrome Conference

BOARDING SCHOOL: Surviving the Syndrome
Broken Attachment and Childhood Trauma

University of Brighton

Saturday 9 September 2017
9.30 am to 5.00 pm

Conference for psychotherapists, counsellors, mental health workers, boarding school survivors and other interested people.

Conference overall aims are to:
§ Present key aspects of what has been published about the psychological and other effects of boarding.
§ Explore helpful therapeutic approaches for clients who are former boarders.
§ Consider current research and a possible agenda for future research
§ Enable networking amongst those interested in this important topic

Chair: Pam Howard, School of Applied Social Science, University of Brighton.

Speakers: Nick Duffell, Joy Schaverien, Alex Renton, Thurstine Basset, Anni Townend, Olya Khaleelee.

Group Discussion Facilitators: Marcus Gottlieb, Leslie Lund, Nicola Miller, Simon Partridge, Boarding Concern Directors.

For more details, contact Laura Williams:
southcoastevents@brighton.ac.uk

Pesso Boyden Workshop with Ana María Ruiz Sancho and Marcus Gottlieb

 

Pesso Boyden Therapy is a respectful and highly respected, body-based psychotherapy with distinctive techniques aimed at addressing entrenched issues. It is an interactive process that creates new body-based memories to heal emotional deficits of the past.

An exceptionally powerful personal development tool, it uses feedback, systematic procedures, objects and role players in a unique methodology, in order to repair the early traumas, wounds and losses that can powerfully influence the brain’s map of the world.

In shifting underlying perspectives, the way is opened to the possibility of greater pleasure, satisfaction, meaning and connectedness, and an enhanced freedom to effect longed-for changes.

It is expected there will be between 8 and 12 participants, with an absolute maximum of 15. The day will start with an explanation of Pesso Boyden and an experiential introduction, followed by 4 actual client sessions of an hour each.

Venue: Philadelphia Association, 4 Marty’s Yard, London NW3 1QW
Date: Saturday 3 June 2017
Time: 0930 to 1800
Cost: £75

Register Your Interest



Ana María Ruiz Sancho is an experienced psychiatrist and a psychotherapist. She is also a specialist in group dynamics and an Institutional and Team Motivation Consultant.

Ana is the Founder and a Director of VocAcción, as well as being a qualified Pesso Boyden psychotherapist.


Notting Hill Therapist | Marcus Gottlieb Psychotherapist & Counsellor

Marcus Gottlieb works with relationships, sexuality, abuse and trauma, with a particular interest in boarding school survivor syndrome. Qualified in Pesso Boyden as well as other psychotherapies, he is also an Alexander Technique teacher.

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