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  • Psychotherapy in West London
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Psychotherapy in West London

Psychotherapy & Counselling with Marcus Gottlieb

Relationship Counselling in London

Individual relationship therapy for those who are single or who are with partners and want more rewarding, intimate and understanding bonds

To find and to share really meaningful, intimate relationships is not easy, it involves the ability to experience deep concern, responsibility, respect and understanding for another person, together with an intense desire for that person’s growth. Relationship Counselling seeks to explore what it is that you search for from your intimate or close bonds and, if you are troubled by problems in current relationships, what lies beneath the issues or difficulties.

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” Marcel Proust, novelist

You may want to work on relationships with parents, other family members, friends, people you are dating, people you live with, or people you have intimate relationships with or are married or partnered with.

These relationships may all, in their own way, legitimately be extremely important in our lives, because there is a fundamental human need to be loved in all the varieties and forms that takes –  like wanting to be admired, noticed, valued, understood, appreciated or recognised by others.

Are we looking for the right person or should we be looking to become the right person?

When it comes to intimate relationships and to searching for a partner, people tend to think they need to identify and meet the ‘right person’ based on those criteria that they decide are important for them.

People rarely think that, first of all, they need to become a ‘right person’, in order to be ready to enter into a loving, intimate relationship and, above all, to be able to cultivate and sustain it over time.

Often people unconsciously persist in seeking the love they never fully received as a child from their father and/or mother, either in their adult relationships; in their careers or through their relationships with friends, co-workers or even their own children.

Sometimes they very subtly sabotage relationships or they run at the first appearance of intimacy, being afraid to love or not feeling worthy of being loved.

What kind of outcomes can relationship counselling achieve for the individual client?

There is an endless variety of situations that people bring to one-to-one relationship counselling. For example, people are helped:

  • To get closer to a partner after many years of marriage or partnership, where the relationship has become stale or the surrounding circumstances of life are just very different from when the couple first met.
  • To deal with difficulties and conflicts that arise as a relationship deepens or when children arrive.
  • To maintain a ‘good enough’ relationship with an ex-partner where there are children in common who still need to be raised, looked after and co-parented.
  • To form the confidence and clarity of mind needed to get into a first serious relationship at, say,  age 45.
  • To have self-confidence and clarity in order to be able to leave a relationship.

To re-establish a warm, affectionate relationship with a sibling, close relation or friend.

Relationship Counselling and intimacy (how therapy helps with intimacy inhibition and love phobia)

Any difficulties you experience with relationships in the present day (including the difficulty of not having a relationship) will likely be heightened by behaviour patterns with deep roots in your history.

A therapeutic relationship – the relationship between an individual client and counsellor – seeks to be an accepting, supportive, attuned, nurturing, caring, consistent relationship from which you will find that you draw sustenance, self-esteem and strength. It can provide the encouragement, warmth and compassion needed to help you accept your past without destructive embitterment, and to learn or re-learn to give real love to yourself and others now.

Marcus draws on a broad experience and a range of relationship counselling methods. One particular approach he finds effective is Pesso-Boyden Therapy which empowers you to re-shape your feelings about yourself in the context of your relationships, and then to change at a deep, unconscious level the behaviour patterns which some of your relationships may throw up, such as, for example, what’s commonly called ‘intimacy avoidance’ or ‘conflict avoidance’.

Relationship Counselling in Notting Hill with Marcus

If you are seeking more from your intimate relationships, be that with partners, family or friends, then contact Marcus to discuss one-to-one Relationship Counselling.

 

Contact Marcus


Here are some interesting articles and pages on Couples & Relationships that you might find helpful

Robert Waldinger | A recent TED talk on “What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happines”
Watch the video or read the transcript

One-in-Five Relationships in Crisis | A recent study warns 3 million people regularly argue or consider divorce – and 1.4 million families are ‘at breaking point;
Read the full article …

The School of Life
Offers these two videos to help us understand our intimate realtionships

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West London Psychotherapist with Client | Notting Hill Therapy

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Pesso Boyden Group with accredited practitioners Deborah Clarke and Marcus Gottlieb

Pesso Boyden Group with accredited PBSP practitioners Deborah Clarke and Marcus Gottlieb

Pesso Boyden Therapy (‘PBSP’) is a philosophical process for becoming whole.

It is a respectful, interactive group process that heals by embedding new memories in the brain and in the body

Most people consciously or unconsciously have memories – explicit or implicit – of 

1. deficits 

2. traumas 

3. having to take care of others when we were too young – e.g. protecting a sibling, providing the joy in the life of an unhappy parent, unconsciously becoming the ‘spouse’ of a widowed parent, or making the world right after hearing stories of injustice. 

When any of these three categories of memory appear in the client’s work, the client and therapist work together to externalise them, in order to illuminate the client’s ways of handling life and to facilitate change. The client is always in charge of this process – people and incidents from the client’s past will be symbolised in the here-and-now either by people in the group or by objects in the room, all chosen and placed by the client. 

The therapist then works with the client to facilitate an antidote to what happened in the past – a new memory which provides what the client needed at that particular time in their past, from a specific kinship figure. This new memory may be developed over several sessions in a number of steps. In the Pesso approach we don’t change our history; however, we do change our response to our history, leading to a new perspective. 

The way is opened to possibilities of greater pleasure, satisfaction, meaning, integration and connectedness.

 



Deborah has worked as a Performance Coach for over 16 years having trained with Coach U. Her background is in the arts as an actor, theatre director and artistic director. She has worked with a wide range of people from all walks of life. Having first encountered Pesso Boyden as a client, she felt inspired to do the training herself. Since graduating in 2013 she has been running Personal Development workshops using the Pesso Boyden system and is now accredited by the official PBSP U.K. organisation.

Notting Hill Therapist | Marcus Gottlieb Psychotherapist & Counsellor
Marcus Gottlieb is a highly experienced London-based psychotherapist with a particular interest in boarding school survivor syndrome. Having trained alongside Deborah directly under Al Pesso and his closest collaborator Lowijs van Perquin, he is steeped in the work of PBSP and a strong believer in the client’s genetic impulse towards health and expression of their unique potential and individual destiny. He became an accredited Pesso Boyden therapist in 2021.
An Introduction to the Pesso Boyden Method

 

An opportunity to learn about and observe the distinctive techniques of this respectful body-based psychotherapy.

Suitable for both psychologically interested professionals, people seeking personal development/CPD and for people not in the therapeutic professions seeking to address entrenched issues. For all those who are interested in living a larger life. A special price of £35 for the day includes lunch and refreshments. CPD certificates will be available.

PBSP (Pesso-Boyden System Psychomotor) is a powerful, deeply respectful, psychotherapeutic process that uses feedback, ritual, objects and role players in a unique manner to heal the traumas, wounds and losses that affect our personal map of the world.

Its central goal is the imaginative creation of an ‘ideal’ healthy past that a person’s brain processes so that they emerge feeling differently about themselves. As Albert Pesso said, ‘Humanity is responsible for the meaning that surrounds us. The task for each person is to create a meaningful life and then live it with existential courage and passion.’

As well as gaining new perspectives, clients often experience increased pleasure, satisfaction, meaning and connectedness following a PBSP session and find themselves psychologically freer to make the changes they wish for in their lives.
Date: Saturday 7 October 2017
Venue: Notting Hill, London W11
Time: 10.00 am – 4.30 pm
Cost: £35 (inc lunch & refreshments)

 

Register Your Interest


Boarding School Survivor Syndrome Conference

BOARDING SCHOOL: Surviving the Syndrome
Broken Attachment and Childhood Trauma

University of Brighton

Saturday 9 September 2017
9.30 am to 5.00 pm

Conference for psychotherapists, counsellors, mental health workers, boarding school survivors and other interested people.

Conference overall aims are to:
§ Present key aspects of what has been published about the psychological and other effects of boarding.
§ Explore helpful therapeutic approaches for clients who are former boarders.
§ Consider current research and a possible agenda for future research
§ Enable networking amongst those interested in this important topic

Chair: Pam Howard, School of Applied Social Science, University of Brighton.

Speakers: Nick Duffell, Joy Schaverien, Alex Renton, Thurstine Basset, Anni Townend, Olya Khaleelee.

Group Discussion Facilitators: Marcus Gottlieb, Leslie Lund, Nicola Miller, Simon Partridge, Boarding Concern Directors.

For more details, contact Laura Williams:
southcoastevents@brighton.ac.uk

Pesso Boyden Workshop with Ana María Ruiz Sancho and Marcus Gottlieb

 

Pesso Boyden Therapy is a respectful and highly respected, body-based psychotherapy with distinctive techniques aimed at addressing entrenched issues. It is an interactive process that creates new body-based memories to heal emotional deficits of the past.

An exceptionally powerful personal development tool, it uses feedback, systematic procedures, objects and role players in a unique methodology, in order to repair the early traumas, wounds and losses that can powerfully influence the brain’s map of the world.

In shifting underlying perspectives, the way is opened to the possibility of greater pleasure, satisfaction, meaning and connectedness, and an enhanced freedom to effect longed-for changes.

It is expected there will be between 8 and 12 participants, with an absolute maximum of 15. The day will start with an explanation of Pesso Boyden and an experiential introduction, followed by 4 actual client sessions of an hour each.

Venue: Philadelphia Association, 4 Marty’s Yard, London NW3 1QW
Date: Saturday 3 June 2017
Time: 0930 to 1800
Cost: £75

Register Your Interest



Ana María Ruiz Sancho is an experienced psychiatrist and a psychotherapist. She is also a specialist in group dynamics and an Institutional and Team Motivation Consultant.

Ana is the Founder and a Director of VocAcción, as well as being a qualified Pesso Boyden psychotherapist.


Notting Hill Therapist | Marcus Gottlieb Psychotherapist & Counsellor

Marcus Gottlieb works with relationships, sexuality, abuse and trauma, with a particular interest in boarding school survivor syndrome. Qualified in Pesso Boyden as well as other psychotherapies, he is also an Alexander Technique teacher.

Contact Marcus

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