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  • Psychotherapy in West London
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Psychotherapy in West London

Psychotherapy & Counselling with Marcus Gottlieb

Therapy for Family Issues, Parenting and Step Parenting

Parenting Therapy, Issues of Family Conflict and Blended Family Challenges

Whatever your family configuration, domestic life presents a multiplicity of complex challenges, nowadays more than ever. Therapy for parenting, for family crisis or conflict or for issues around parent-child relationships can result in a constructive, healthier perspective and empower you to address issues that have arisen or seem likely to arise as the life of the family unfolds.

This is particularly so in times of crisis, whether it’s dealing with the aftermath of an affair or the emergence of other secrets, or with a child’s emotional needs as they transition into a new stage of their development, or with challenging sibling relationships, or extended family and unconscious inter-generational issues.

Parents and Siblings

Being a parent brings you up against yourself. That is equally true whether you have entered into it via the ‘traditional’ route or through adoption or surrogacy, or indeed are a lone parent or step parent.

Becoming a parent will trigger echoes and memories within you, which can be painful or at least unhelpful. You may find that you behave with children in ways that you don’t like. When that has happened and you have time to reflect, how able are you to empathise with your child, to put yourself in their place and understand how they are interpreting the events and realities that they are living?

Every stage of a child’s growth presents questions:

  • How does your relationship survive the early sleepless nights, and the exclusive attention babies need from their mother (or mother figure)?
  • How do you parent a toddler, giving them just the right, loving balance of freedom, security and protection?
  • How do you handle choices (and disagreements) about education, or religion, or values, or discipline?
  • How do you approach differences and disabilities – autism or dyslexia, for example?
  • How much independence or autonomy do you give your child at different ages? How do you set and maintain boundaries, while staying consistent with your values?
  • How do you engage (or not) with sibling rivalries amongst your children? Do you or your partner have, in any sense, ‘favourite’ children? Would that be OK?
  • What examples did your own parents set, and what rights, responsibilities and involvement are they due now as grandparents? If they have strong views that differ from yours or your partner’s, how do you best handle that?
  • What is age appropriate for teenagers?
  • How do your relationship with your intimate partner and with your children survive – even hopefully thrive – during or after major stressful incidents such as extramarital affairs, redundancy, physical or mental illness, periods of addiction, or eating disorders?
  • What is it like to experience the transition into being the parents of children who now live away from you and are becoming autonomous adults?

Parenting Therapy following Divorce and Separation

The ending of a marriage, partnership or intimate relationship does not end the life of the family or the bond you have with children, but moves these on to a new and different phase. Therapy for Family and Parenting Issues can support you as you handle not having daily contact with your child, as you learn to co-parent (possibly with someone whom you don’t consider a good parent or perhaps even a good person) and as you deal with new intimate relationships coming into your life or that of your ex-partner.

Living with your partner’s children from a previous relationship or finding a way for children from different relationships to cohabit can bring strains and conflict. There can for example be major age differences between the new siblings, or personality clashes, or different financial provision applying to them. Having the support of a therapist through the process of forming, re-forming and sustaining blended families can make it more positive and manageable as well as providing you with an outlet for the feelings, doubts and questions that will no doubt arise.

Boarding School Survivors and Families

Ex-boarders typically have particular issues with families, in light of the early disruption of your family life, the lack of appropriate safeguarding, protection and guidance, and often the near-complete rupture of the bond with parents, extended family and everything represented by the words ‘family’ or ‘home’.

There can sometimes be unexpressed anger towards parents or siblings, and certainly a sense of your not being understood or appreciated, which may translate into a brittle, defensive attitude which can influence your treatment of your own partners and children. For more on the specific issues around Ex-boarders and their family and parenting relationships and how therapy can help please see my Boarding School Survivors Therapy pages.

Therapy for Family & Parenting Issues with Marcus

If you are struggling with a family crisis or the challenges of parenting, then take the first step and contact Marcus to talk about Therapy for Family & Parenting issues.

Contact Marcus


Useful articles, advice and resources on the challenges of family life, parenting & domestic relationships

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West London Psychotherapist with Client | Notting Hill Therapy

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Pesso Boyden Group with accredited practitioners Deborah Clarke and Marcus Gottlieb

Pesso Boyden Group with accredited PBSP practitioners Deborah Clarke and Marcus Gottlieb

Pesso Boyden Therapy (‘PBSP’) is a philosophical process for becoming whole.

It is a respectful, interactive group process that heals by embedding new memories in the brain and in the body

Most people consciously or unconsciously have memories – explicit or implicit – of 

1. deficits 

2. traumas 

3. having to take care of others when we were too young – e.g. protecting a sibling, providing the joy in the life of an unhappy parent, unconsciously becoming the ‘spouse’ of a widowed parent, or making the world right after hearing stories of injustice. 

When any of these three categories of memory appear in the client’s work, the client and therapist work together to externalise them, in order to illuminate the client’s ways of handling life and to facilitate change. The client is always in charge of this process – people and incidents from the client’s past will be symbolised in the here-and-now either by people in the group or by objects in the room, all chosen and placed by the client. 

The therapist then works with the client to facilitate an antidote to what happened in the past – a new memory which provides what the client needed at that particular time in their past, from a specific kinship figure. This new memory may be developed over several sessions in a number of steps. In the Pesso approach we don’t change our history; however, we do change our response to our history, leading to a new perspective. 

The way is opened to possibilities of greater pleasure, satisfaction, meaning, integration and connectedness.

 



Deborah has worked as a Performance Coach for over 16 years having trained with Coach U. Her background is in the arts as an actor, theatre director and artistic director. She has worked with a wide range of people from all walks of life. Having first encountered Pesso Boyden as a client, she felt inspired to do the training herself. Since graduating in 2013 she has been running Personal Development workshops using the Pesso Boyden system and is now accredited by the official PBSP U.K. organisation.

Notting Hill Therapist | Marcus Gottlieb Psychotherapist & Counsellor
Marcus Gottlieb is a highly experienced London-based psychotherapist with a particular interest in boarding school survivor syndrome. Having trained alongside Deborah directly under Al Pesso and his closest collaborator Lowijs van Perquin, he is steeped in the work of PBSP and a strong believer in the client’s genetic impulse towards health and expression of their unique potential and individual destiny. He became an accredited Pesso Boyden therapist in 2021.
An Introduction to the Pesso Boyden Method

 

An opportunity to learn about and observe the distinctive techniques of this respectful body-based psychotherapy.

Suitable for both psychologically interested professionals, people seeking personal development/CPD and for people not in the therapeutic professions seeking to address entrenched issues. For all those who are interested in living a larger life. A special price of £35 for the day includes lunch and refreshments. CPD certificates will be available.

PBSP (Pesso-Boyden System Psychomotor) is a powerful, deeply respectful, psychotherapeutic process that uses feedback, ritual, objects and role players in a unique manner to heal the traumas, wounds and losses that affect our personal map of the world.

Its central goal is the imaginative creation of an ‘ideal’ healthy past that a person’s brain processes so that they emerge feeling differently about themselves. As Albert Pesso said, ‘Humanity is responsible for the meaning that surrounds us. The task for each person is to create a meaningful life and then live it with existential courage and passion.’

As well as gaining new perspectives, clients often experience increased pleasure, satisfaction, meaning and connectedness following a PBSP session and find themselves psychologically freer to make the changes they wish for in their lives.
Date: Saturday 7 October 2017
Venue: Notting Hill, London W11
Time: 10.00 am – 4.30 pm
Cost: £35 (inc lunch & refreshments)

 

Register Your Interest


Boarding School Survivor Syndrome Conference

BOARDING SCHOOL: Surviving the Syndrome
Broken Attachment and Childhood Trauma

University of Brighton

Saturday 9 September 2017
9.30 am to 5.00 pm

Conference for psychotherapists, counsellors, mental health workers, boarding school survivors and other interested people.

Conference overall aims are to:
§ Present key aspects of what has been published about the psychological and other effects of boarding.
§ Explore helpful therapeutic approaches for clients who are former boarders.
§ Consider current research and a possible agenda for future research
§ Enable networking amongst those interested in this important topic

Chair: Pam Howard, School of Applied Social Science, University of Brighton.

Speakers: Nick Duffell, Joy Schaverien, Alex Renton, Thurstine Basset, Anni Townend, Olya Khaleelee.

Group Discussion Facilitators: Marcus Gottlieb, Leslie Lund, Nicola Miller, Simon Partridge, Boarding Concern Directors.

For more details, contact Laura Williams:
southcoastevents@brighton.ac.uk

Pesso Boyden Workshop with Ana María Ruiz Sancho and Marcus Gottlieb

 

Pesso Boyden Therapy is a respectful and highly respected, body-based psychotherapy with distinctive techniques aimed at addressing entrenched issues. It is an interactive process that creates new body-based memories to heal emotional deficits of the past.

An exceptionally powerful personal development tool, it uses feedback, systematic procedures, objects and role players in a unique methodology, in order to repair the early traumas, wounds and losses that can powerfully influence the brain’s map of the world.

In shifting underlying perspectives, the way is opened to the possibility of greater pleasure, satisfaction, meaning and connectedness, and an enhanced freedom to effect longed-for changes.

It is expected there will be between 8 and 12 participants, with an absolute maximum of 15. The day will start with an explanation of Pesso Boyden and an experiential introduction, followed by 4 actual client sessions of an hour each.

Venue: Philadelphia Association, 4 Marty’s Yard, London NW3 1QW
Date: Saturday 3 June 2017
Time: 0930 to 1800
Cost: £75

Register Your Interest



Ana María Ruiz Sancho is an experienced psychiatrist and a psychotherapist. She is also a specialist in group dynamics and an Institutional and Team Motivation Consultant.

Ana is the Founder and a Director of VocAcción, as well as being a qualified Pesso Boyden psychotherapist.


Notting Hill Therapist | Marcus Gottlieb Psychotherapist & Counsellor

Marcus Gottlieb works with relationships, sexuality, abuse and trauma, with a particular interest in boarding school survivor syndrome. Qualified in Pesso Boyden as well as other psychotherapies, he is also an Alexander Technique teacher.

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