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  • Psychotherapy in West London
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Psychotherapy in West London

Psychotherapy & Counselling with Marcus Gottlieb

Boarding School Survivors Therapy & Counselling in London

Therapy for Boarding School Survivors with Depression

Ex-boarders often suffer from Depression in their adult life, Marcus, a fellow Boarding School Survivor, will work sensitively and collaboratively with you in therapy.

To be depressed can feel very isolating, lonely and confusing. As a specialist in therapy for boarding school survivors with depression, I provide the safe space to help you begin to come out of the isolation and the opportunity to address your feelings with a fellow ex-boarder who has empathy and understanding.

Boarding School and the roots of your Depression

It should not be a surprise that adults who, when they were children, were exiled from family life and brought up for 9 months of each year within an institution which took the place of their parents, exhibit symptoms of abandonment and trauma.

Characteristically, male ex-boarders learned not to trust their feelings and especially their vulnerability. Female boarding school survivors became alienated from their very bodies at boarding school, and suffered profound though often barely visible wounds to their personal, feminine identity.

People who were sent away to boarding school often show effects resembling people who have suffered the most deprived and neglected childhoods.

Features of Depression in Adults who attended Boarding School

Depression is a common feature of Boarding School Survivor Syndrome. Often masked by addictions, and hyperactivity of various sorts, it can be like an underlying lead weight impeding the ex-boarder’s potential capacity for joy, vitality and spontaneity. Sometimes, it manifests in psychosomatic symptoms [link to that topic page]. Often it is mixed with anxiety, poor boundaries and a profound sense of shame.

Some possible signs of depression in ex-boarders are:

  • Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
  • Fatigue and decreased energy
  • Feelings of guilt, worthlessness and/or helplessness
  • Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
  • Insomnia, exhaustion, early-morning wakefulness or excessive sleeping
  • Irritability, restlessness
  • Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
  • Eating disorders – overeating or appetite loss
  • Psychosomatic illnesses – Persistent aches, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not get better
  • A feeling of emptiness – persistent of sadness and anxiety
  • Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts
  • Change in appetite or weight
  • Dizziness or lightheadedness

Therapy for Boarding School Survivors and Depression with Marcus

In boarding school survivor therapy we explore your experience collaboratively and specifically focus on your feelings of depression and its possible root causes. As an experienced psychotherapist I have a wide range of methods at my disposal to help you move on from your depression, including ‘behavioural therapy’ techniques which are based on modern brain research.

We will discuss your emotional responses with an open mind, and work towards a fuller, safer relationship with your inner emotional life. The rage, anger and grief that are often contained within the state we call ‘depression’ will have the space to be safely aired, and the relief felt in terms of a lighter mood and more positive perspective on your life.

If you are an ex-boarder coping with depression, contact Marcus to discuss therapy.

Contact Marcus

Some helpful links that relate to Boarding School & Depression

Norton Grim
A deeply moving short film by Tony Gammidge.

Norton Grim and Me Edit from tony gammidge on Vimeo.

Edinburgh Boarding School Debate
Excerpts from public debate at Edinburgh University on banning boarding for the under 16s (2014).

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Boarding School Survivors Issues Therapy

Boarding School Issues I Often Work With In One-to-one Therapy

  • Boarding School Survivors and Relationships
  • Boarding School Survivors and Depression
  • Boarding School Survivors and Bullying
  • Boarding School Survivors Workshops in London

Boarding School Survivors Workshop Programme

The pioneering 4-day workshop is spread over TWO WEEKENDS A FEW WEEKS APART. Participants are asked to commit to attending ALL 4 DAYS. The workshop has been running for two decades and was created and is still supervised by Nick Duffell, author of ‘The Making Of Them’.

NB. These courses are very popular so early booking is always strongly advised (and all the more so as some of the 2020 dates have unfortunately been cancelled due to the Covid-19 crisis).

Men’s Course – Summer 2021

Part One: Saturday 10 JUL – Sunday 11 JUL 2021
Part Two: Saturday 25 SEP – Sunday 26 SEP 2021
Venue: Hampstead, North London.
Times: 10am (arrive by 9.45) to 6pm each day.
Cost: £550 (£200 deposit to secure place).

Women’s Course – Autumn 2021

Part One: Saturday 02 OCT – Sunday 03 OCT 2021
Part Two: Saturday 06 NOV – Sunday 07 NOV 2021
Venue: Highgate, North London.
Times: 10am (arrive by 9.45) to 6pm each day.
Cost: £550 (£200 deposit to secure place).

Men’s Course – Autumn 2021

Part One: Saturday 02 OCT – Sunday 03 OCT 2021
Part Two: Saturday 13 NOV – Sunday 14 NOV 2021
Venue: Hampstead, North London.
Times: 10am (arrive by 9.45) to 6pm each day.
Cost: £550 (£200 deposit to secure place).

Men’s Course – Spring 2022 

Part One: Saturday 05 MAR – Sunday 06 MAR 2022
Part Two: Saturday 21 MAY – Sunday 22 MAY 2022
Venue: Hampstead, North London.
Times: 10am (arrive by 9.45) to 6pm each day.
Cost: £560 (£200 deposit to secure place).

Women’s Course – Autumn 2022

Part One: dates TBC
Part Two: dates TBC
Venue: Highgate, North London.
Times: 10am (arrive by 9.45) to 6pm each day.
Cost: £560 (£200 deposit to secure place).

More information, including how to book …

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Pesso Boyden Group with accredited practitioners Deborah Clarke and Marcus Gottlieb

Pesso Boyden Group with accredited PBSP practitioners Deborah Clarke and Marcus Gottlieb

Pesso Boyden Therapy (‘PBSP’) is a philosophical process for becoming whole.

It is a respectful, interactive group process that heals by embedding new memories in the brain and in the body

Most people consciously or unconsciously have memories – explicit or implicit – of 

1. deficits 

2. traumas 

3. having to take care of others when we were too young – e.g. protecting a sibling, providing the joy in the life of an unhappy parent, unconsciously becoming the ‘spouse’ of a widowed parent, or making the world right after hearing stories of injustice. 

When any of these three categories of memory appear in the client’s work, the client and therapist work together to externalise them, in order to illuminate the client’s ways of handling life and to facilitate change. The client is always in charge of this process – people and incidents from the client’s past will be symbolised in the here-and-now either by people in the group or by objects in the room, all chosen and placed by the client. 

The therapist then works with the client to facilitate an antidote to what happened in the past – a new memory which provides what the client needed at that particular time in their past, from a specific kinship figure. This new memory may be developed over several sessions in a number of steps. In the Pesso approach we don’t change our history; however, we do change our response to our history, leading to a new perspective. 

The way is opened to possibilities of greater pleasure, satisfaction, meaning, integration and connectedness.

 



Deborah has worked as a Performance Coach for over 16 years having trained with Coach U. Her background is in the arts as an actor, theatre director and artistic director. She has worked with a wide range of people from all walks of life. Having first encountered Pesso Boyden as a client, she felt inspired to do the training herself. Since graduating in 2013 she has been running Personal Development workshops using the Pesso Boyden system and is now accredited by the official PBSP U.K. organisation.

Notting Hill Therapist | Marcus Gottlieb Psychotherapist & Counsellor
Marcus Gottlieb is a highly experienced London-based psychotherapist with a particular interest in boarding school survivor syndrome. Having trained alongside Deborah directly under Al Pesso and his closest collaborator Lowijs van Perquin, he is steeped in the work of PBSP and a strong believer in the client’s genetic impulse towards health and expression of their unique potential and individual destiny. He became an accredited Pesso Boyden therapist in 2021.
An Introduction to the Pesso Boyden Method

 

An opportunity to learn about and observe the distinctive techniques of this respectful body-based psychotherapy.

Suitable for both psychologically interested professionals, people seeking personal development/CPD and for people not in the therapeutic professions seeking to address entrenched issues. For all those who are interested in living a larger life. A special price of £35 for the day includes lunch and refreshments. CPD certificates will be available.

PBSP (Pesso-Boyden System Psychomotor) is a powerful, deeply respectful, psychotherapeutic process that uses feedback, ritual, objects and role players in a unique manner to heal the traumas, wounds and losses that affect our personal map of the world.

Its central goal is the imaginative creation of an ‘ideal’ healthy past that a person’s brain processes so that they emerge feeling differently about themselves. As Albert Pesso said, ‘Humanity is responsible for the meaning that surrounds us. The task for each person is to create a meaningful life and then live it with existential courage and passion.’

As well as gaining new perspectives, clients often experience increased pleasure, satisfaction, meaning and connectedness following a PBSP session and find themselves psychologically freer to make the changes they wish for in their lives.
Date: Saturday 7 October 2017
Venue: Notting Hill, London W11
Time: 10.00 am – 4.30 pm
Cost: £35 (inc lunch & refreshments)

 

Register Your Interest


Boarding School Survivor Syndrome Conference

BOARDING SCHOOL: Surviving the Syndrome
Broken Attachment and Childhood Trauma

University of Brighton

Saturday 9 September 2017
9.30 am to 5.00 pm

Conference for psychotherapists, counsellors, mental health workers, boarding school survivors and other interested people.

Conference overall aims are to:
§ Present key aspects of what has been published about the psychological and other effects of boarding.
§ Explore helpful therapeutic approaches for clients who are former boarders.
§ Consider current research and a possible agenda for future research
§ Enable networking amongst those interested in this important topic

Chair: Pam Howard, School of Applied Social Science, University of Brighton.

Speakers: Nick Duffell, Joy Schaverien, Alex Renton, Thurstine Basset, Anni Townend, Olya Khaleelee.

Group Discussion Facilitators: Marcus Gottlieb, Leslie Lund, Nicola Miller, Simon Partridge, Boarding Concern Directors.

For more details, contact Laura Williams:
southcoastevents@brighton.ac.uk

Pesso Boyden Workshop with Ana María Ruiz Sancho and Marcus Gottlieb

 

Pesso Boyden Therapy is a respectful and highly respected, body-based psychotherapy with distinctive techniques aimed at addressing entrenched issues. It is an interactive process that creates new body-based memories to heal emotional deficits of the past.

An exceptionally powerful personal development tool, it uses feedback, systematic procedures, objects and role players in a unique methodology, in order to repair the early traumas, wounds and losses that can powerfully influence the brain’s map of the world.

In shifting underlying perspectives, the way is opened to the possibility of greater pleasure, satisfaction, meaning and connectedness, and an enhanced freedom to effect longed-for changes.

It is expected there will be between 8 and 12 participants, with an absolute maximum of 15. The day will start with an explanation of Pesso Boyden and an experiential introduction, followed by 4 actual client sessions of an hour each.

Venue: Philadelphia Association, 4 Marty’s Yard, London NW3 1QW
Date: Saturday 3 June 2017
Time: 0930 to 1800
Cost: £75

Register Your Interest



Ana María Ruiz Sancho is an experienced psychiatrist and a psychotherapist. She is also a specialist in group dynamics and an Institutional and Team Motivation Consultant.

Ana is the Founder and a Director of VocAcción, as well as being a qualified Pesso Boyden psychotherapist.


Notting Hill Therapist | Marcus Gottlieb Psychotherapist & Counsellor

Marcus Gottlieb works with relationships, sexuality, abuse and trauma, with a particular interest in boarding school survivor syndrome. Qualified in Pesso Boyden as well as other psychotherapies, he is also an Alexander Technique teacher.

Contact Marcus

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