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Psychotherapy in West London

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Marcus Gottlieb

January 2, 2011 by Marcus Gottlieb

As the New Year reminds us of our gradually advancing age, let’s just consider the not inconsiderable, brighter side (with gratitude to Anthony):

  • In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first
  • It’s harder and harder for harassment charges to stick
  • Kidnappers are not very interested in you
  • No one expects you to run into a burning building
  • People call at 9 pm and ask, ‘Did I wake you?’
  • People no longer view you as a hypochondriac
  • There’s nothing left to learn the hard way
  • Things you buy now won’t wear out
  • [Read more…] about benefits of growing older

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    Filed Under: assumptions, body, esteem, meaning Tagged With: assumptions, body, esteem, meaning

    December 30, 2010 by Marcus Gottlieb

  • The freedom to see and hear what is here instead of what should be, was or will be.
  • The freedom to say what one feels and thinks instead of what one should.
  • Virginia Satir, author of these Five Freedoms, was an internationally known therapist (referred to by many as “the pioneer of family therapy”), teacher, and author. Her books Peoplemaking and Conjoint Family Therapy are two of the central texts of humanistic psychology. Satir, who died in 1988, held high hopes and great enthusiasm for the ability of the human spirit to make this world a better place to live. Her vision was to help empower people to reach their full potential.
  • The freedom to feel what one feels instead of what one ought to.
  • The freedom to ask for what one wants instead of always waiting for permission.
  • The freedom to take risks in one’s own behalf instead of choosing to be only ‘secure’ and not rocking the boat.
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    Filed Under: change, esteem Tagged With: change, esteem, shoulds

    December 27, 2010 by Marcus Gottlieb

    How you feel about yourself is a major factor in the quality of your intimate relationships. Trouble in a relationship almost always involves a problem with self-esteem.

    Self-worth is a natural product of receiving appropriate validation, attention and approval as we are growing up. You need to be confident about your competence, your mastery of the world. Beyond that, you need to feel that you are loveable, someone that others would want to be close to – competent or not – just by virtue of existing.

    Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one’s own sunshine.    – Ralph Waldo Emerson

    When you don’t have a lot of self-confidence you tend to be so preoccupied with questions of self-worth that when you interact with someone else, especially someone who is important to you, you may not perceive what is going on very accurately. Questions like:

      Am I good enough?
      Will he like me?
      Will she want me?
      Do my feelings matter?
      Am I safe?
      Will I be attacked?
      Will I be hurt?
      Will I be laughed at or humiliated?
      Is it safe to ask?

    One of the things we have to do to develop our sense of self and greater self-esteem is to accept who we actually are, as opposed to who we are trying to fool ourselves or other people into thinking we are. This means experimenting, trying on different hats and finding out which one feels comfortable, exploring new activities to see which we enjoy and are suited to, taking chances, opening ourselves up a step at a time, allowing ourselves successes as well as failures, seeing mistakes and crises as opportunities to learn and grow. For many of us it means abandoning the belief that the alternative to being perfect is being awful.

    [Read more…] about the importance of being ‘worth it’

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      • Assertiveness Skills
      • Career transition counselling coaching
      • Counselling for Coping with Prejudice & Discrimination
      • Work Life Balance Counselling
      • Workplace Bullying & Harassment

    Filed Under: CBT, esteem, relationships Tagged With: CBT, esteem, relationships

    December 21, 2010 by Marcus Gottlieb

    This is from Marianne Williamson’s A Return To Love. There’s a myth around that Nelson Mandela quoted this passage during his inaugural presidential speech. Just a myth. No matter – I don’t think it needs anything to add to its lustre!

    Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
    Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
    It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
    We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
    Actually, who are you not to be?
    You are a child of God.
    Your playing small does not serve the world.
    There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
    We are all meant to shine, as children do.
    We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
    It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
    And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
    As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

    List of pages

    • About Marcus Gottlieb West London Psychotherapist & Counsellor
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      • body image issues and body hatred
      • Bullying & Harassment
      • CBT West London
      • Chronic fatigue IBS ME Psychosomatic Symptoms
      • Compulsive Behaviour
      • Couples Counselling in Notting Hill
      • Depression & Mood Swings
      • Eating Disorders & Intuitive Eating
      • Family & Parental Issues
      • Gay Couples Therapy
      • LGBTQ and sexual orientation
      • lonliness isolation abandonment
      • Low Self Confidence & Low self Esteem
      • Pesso-Boyden Therapy in London
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      • sexual difficulties sexual obsessions & addictions
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      • Male victims of domestic violence
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    • Work & Career Issues Therapy
      • Assertiveness Skills
      • Career transition counselling coaching
      • Counselling for Coping with Prejudice & Discrimination
      • Work Life Balance Counselling
      • Workplace Bullying & Harassment

    Filed Under: esteem Tagged With: esteem, meaning

    December 17, 2010 by Marcus Gottlieb

    The following exercise (adapted from ‘Feelings First’ by Dr John Gray) can help you detect layers of feelings that are present with respect to some ‘hot’ issue for you in your relationship. Though Gray calls it ‘The Love Letter’ it may seem anything but! It’s a process of peeling away the nastier layer of feelings that often prevent us experiencing our caring, compassionate self ‘buried’ underneath, the more tender, forgiving self that we probably prefer to be.
     
    The process can be used in minutes as a ‘quick fix’ or you can take some hours or days to work with it.
     
    [Read more…] about letting grudges go

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      • Bullying & Harassment
      • CBT West London
      • Chronic fatigue IBS ME Psychosomatic Symptoms
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      • Couples Counselling in Notting Hill
      • Depression & Mood Swings
      • Eating Disorders & Intuitive Eating
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      • Gay Couples Therapy
      • LGBTQ and sexual orientation
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      • Low Self Confidence & Low self Esteem
      • Pesso-Boyden Therapy in London
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    Filed Under: anger, exercises Tagged With: anger, exercises

    December 15, 2010 by Marcus Gottlieb

    Becoming a mature, autonomous adult is a lot about taking responsibility for our feelings, and as a first step we need to get clearer about what our feelings are. This is a good tool. Start a diary, write in it these sentence stems, be as honest as you can and just see what emerges. A diary is a fantastic place to have a heart-to-heart conversation with yourself, a great chance to get burdens off your chest. And where the sentence or sentiment is addressed to another person, pick whoever seems appropriate. The sentence stems are adapted from Nathaniel Branden’s ‘If You Could Hear What I Cannot Say’.

    Allowing Others To See Me

    If I were willing to be vulnerable I might tell you…
    If I weren’t afraid of being condemned I might tell you…
    If I weren’t so scared I might tell you…

    [Read more…] about if you could hear what i cannot say

    List of pages

    • About Marcus Gottlieb West London Psychotherapist & Counsellor
    • Boarding School Survivors Therapy
      • Boarding School Survivors & Relationship Issues
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    • Work & Career Issues Therapy
      • Assertiveness Skills
      • Career transition counselling coaching
      • Counselling for Coping with Prejudice & Discrimination
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      • Workplace Bullying & Harassment

    Filed Under: anger, body, exercises, parents, relationships Tagged With: anger, body, exercises, parents, relationships

    December 13, 2010 by Marcus Gottlieb

    Everything except language
    knows the meaning of existence.
    Trees, plants, rivers, time
    know nothing else. They express it
    moment by moment as the universe.
    Even this fool of a body lives it in part
    and would have full dignity
    within it but for the
    ignorant freedom of my
    talking mind.

    with affectionate thanks to Jo Harvey

    List of pages

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      • Career transition counselling coaching
      • Counselling for Coping with Prejudice & Discrimination
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      • Workplace Bullying & Harassment

    Filed Under: body, nature Tagged With: body, meaning, nature

    December 11, 2010 by Marcus Gottlieb

    I WALK DOWN THE STREET.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I fall in.
    I am lost.
    I am helpless.
    It isn’t my fault.
    It takes forever to find a way out.

    I WALK DOWN THE SAME STREET.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I pretend I don’t see it.
    I fall in, again.
    I can’t believe I am in this same place.
    But it isn’t my fault.
    It still takes a long time to get out.

    I WALK DOWN THE SAME STREET.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I see it is there.
    I still fall in.
    It’s a habit.
    But, my eyes are open.
    I know where I am.
    It is my fault.
    I get out immediately.

    I WALK DOWN THE SAME STREET.
    There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
    I walk around it.

    I WALK DOWN ANOTHER STREET.

    List of pages

    • About Marcus Gottlieb West London Psychotherapist & Counsellor
    • Boarding School Survivors Therapy
      • Boarding School Survivors & Relationship Issues
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      • Boarding School Survivors and Depression
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      • Assertiveness Skills
      • Career transition counselling coaching
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    Filed Under: change Tagged With: change

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    Pesso Boyden Group with accredited practitioners Deborah Clarke and Marcus Gottlieb

    Pesso Boyden Group with accredited PBSP practitioners Deborah Clarke and Marcus Gottlieb

    Pesso Boyden Therapy (‘PBSP’) is a philosophical process for becoming whole.

    It is a respectful, interactive group process that heals by embedding new memories in the brain and in the body

    Most people consciously or unconsciously have memories – explicit or implicit – of 

    1. deficits 

    2. traumas 

    3. having to take care of others when we were too young – e.g. protecting a sibling, providing the joy in the life of an unhappy parent, unconsciously becoming the ‘spouse’ of a widowed parent, or making the world right after hearing stories of injustice. 

    When any of these three categories of memory appear in the client’s work, the client and therapist work together to externalise them, in order to illuminate the client’s ways of handling life and to facilitate change. The client is always in charge of this process – people and incidents from the client’s past will be symbolised in the here-and-now either by people in the group or by objects in the room, all chosen and placed by the client. 

    The therapist then works with the client to facilitate an antidote to what happened in the past – a new memory which provides what the client needed at that particular time in their past, from a specific kinship figure. This new memory may be developed over several sessions in a number of steps. In the Pesso approach we don’t change our history; however, we do change our response to our history, leading to a new perspective. 

    The way is opened to possibilities of greater pleasure, satisfaction, meaning, integration and connectedness.

     



    Deborah has worked as a Performance Coach for over 16 years having trained with Coach U. Her background is in the arts as an actor, theatre director and artistic director. She has worked with a wide range of people from all walks of life. Having first encountered Pesso Boyden as a client, she felt inspired to do the training herself. Since graduating in 2013 she has been running Personal Development workshops using the Pesso Boyden system and is now accredited by the official PBSP U.K. organisation.

    Notting Hill Therapist | Marcus Gottlieb Psychotherapist & Counsellor
    Marcus Gottlieb is a highly experienced London-based psychotherapist with a particular interest in boarding school survivor syndrome. Having trained alongside Deborah directly under Al Pesso and his closest collaborator Lowijs van Perquin, he is steeped in the work of PBSP and a strong believer in the client’s genetic impulse towards health and expression of their unique potential and individual destiny. He became an accredited Pesso Boyden therapist in 2021.
    An Introduction to the Pesso Boyden Method

     

    An opportunity to learn about and observe the distinctive techniques of this respectful body-based psychotherapy.

    Suitable for both psychologically interested professionals, people seeking personal development/CPD and for people not in the therapeutic professions seeking to address entrenched issues. For all those who are interested in living a larger life. A special price of £35 for the day includes lunch and refreshments. CPD certificates will be available.

    PBSP (Pesso-Boyden System Psychomotor) is a powerful, deeply respectful, psychotherapeutic process that uses feedback, ritual, objects and role players in a unique manner to heal the traumas, wounds and losses that affect our personal map of the world.

    Its central goal is the imaginative creation of an ‘ideal’ healthy past that a person’s brain processes so that they emerge feeling differently about themselves. As Albert Pesso said, ‘Humanity is responsible for the meaning that surrounds us. The task for each person is to create a meaningful life and then live it with existential courage and passion.’

    As well as gaining new perspectives, clients often experience increased pleasure, satisfaction, meaning and connectedness following a PBSP session and find themselves psychologically freer to make the changes they wish for in their lives.
    Date: Saturday 7 October 2017
    Venue: Notting Hill, London W11
    Time: 10.00 am – 4.30 pm
    Cost: £35 (inc lunch & refreshments)

     

    Register Your Interest


    Boarding School Survivor Syndrome Conference

    BOARDING SCHOOL: Surviving the Syndrome
    Broken Attachment and Childhood Trauma

    University of Brighton

    Saturday 9 September 2017
    9.30 am to 5.00 pm

    Conference for psychotherapists, counsellors, mental health workers, boarding school survivors and other interested people.

    Conference overall aims are to:
    § Present key aspects of what has been published about the psychological and other effects of boarding.
    § Explore helpful therapeutic approaches for clients who are former boarders.
    § Consider current research and a possible agenda for future research
    § Enable networking amongst those interested in this important topic

    Chair: Pam Howard, School of Applied Social Science, University of Brighton.

    Speakers: Nick Duffell, Joy Schaverien, Alex Renton, Thurstine Basset, Anni Townend, Olya Khaleelee.

    Group Discussion Facilitators: Marcus Gottlieb, Leslie Lund, Nicola Miller, Simon Partridge, Boarding Concern Directors.

    For more details, contact Laura Williams:
    southcoastevents@brighton.ac.uk

    Pesso Boyden Workshop with Ana María Ruiz Sancho and Marcus Gottlieb

     

    Pesso Boyden Therapy is a respectful and highly respected, body-based psychotherapy with distinctive techniques aimed at addressing entrenched issues. It is an interactive process that creates new body-based memories to heal emotional deficits of the past.

    An exceptionally powerful personal development tool, it uses feedback, systematic procedures, objects and role players in a unique methodology, in order to repair the early traumas, wounds and losses that can powerfully influence the brain’s map of the world.

    In shifting underlying perspectives, the way is opened to the possibility of greater pleasure, satisfaction, meaning and connectedness, and an enhanced freedom to effect longed-for changes.

    It is expected there will be between 8 and 12 participants, with an absolute maximum of 15. The day will start with an explanation of Pesso Boyden and an experiential introduction, followed by 4 actual client sessions of an hour each.

    Venue: Philadelphia Association, 4 Marty’s Yard, London NW3 1QW
    Date: Saturday 3 June 2017
    Time: 0930 to 1800
    Cost: £75

    Register Your Interest



    Ana María Ruiz Sancho is an experienced psychiatrist and a psychotherapist. She is also a specialist in group dynamics and an Institutional and Team Motivation Consultant.

    Ana is the Founder and a Director of VocAcción, as well as being a qualified Pesso Boyden psychotherapist.


    Notting Hill Therapist | Marcus Gottlieb Psychotherapist & Counsellor

    Marcus Gottlieb works with relationships, sexuality, abuse and trauma, with a particular interest in boarding school survivor syndrome. Qualified in Pesso Boyden as well as other psychotherapies, he is also an Alexander Technique teacher.